


No Good Without You

by asteroidlindsey



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Phan Fluff, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 17:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8542315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asteroidlindsey/pseuds/asteroidlindsey
Summary: Sometimes you need to think of 'What if?' before you say 'I love you'





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys. So first things first, THE NEW DAN AND PHIL MERCH IS BEAUITFUL OMG I AM GETTING THE GALAXY SHIRT AND 2017 CALENDAR FOR CHRISTMAS AND I ORDERED THE 2016 CALENDAR BECUASE WHY NOT IT WAS ONLY 2 BUCKS SO YAY ALSO I AM GETTING THE NEW BACKPACK SOMETHING NEXT YEAR I AM SO EXCITED BLESS! Anyway, this idea came out of no where but yet it was always lingering in the back of my head. The title is inspired by twenty one piolet's, "Doubt".

Dan looked at Phil across the couch. The sofa creased so perfectly around the chestnut haired boy’s body. It was late. The sky was starting to darken and the moon was beginning to shine it's beautiful light. Not a star in the sky though. Dan was in his browsing position, the 12 inch MacBook balancing perfectly on his legs. He smiles at all the creative drawings his viewers have done. Some many talented, undiscovered artists out there. His subscribers are some of the most open minded, creative people out there. And he wouldn’t change it for the world. In most drawings, Dan was always the sad, depressed one and Phil was always the happy, go-lucky one. Sure, is wasn’t far off from the truth but, everyone feels that way sometimes. He goes onto a page. This particular artist just so happened to draw a sketch that had to do with extensional crises. Dan looked at all the comments on that post. Questions fly in and out of his head.

What if I die sad and alone?

What if I never accomplish anything?

What if this is all just one big dream?

What is my purpose?

What if I never tell the world who I am?

What if I never get the courage to tell him who I am?

What if-

And that’s when Dan loses it. He shuts his laptop and lays face-first on the floor. He doesn’t even warn Phil. Dan just does it. Phil looks up from his MacBook Pro. The raven haired boy looks concerned. Even though this happens something, every time it’s scary for Phil. The stuff Dan says is crazy, yet it all makes sense. Phil doesn’t know how or why, it just does. Phil knows Dan doesn’t really believe everything he says during these dreadful 5 minutes. Dan is a brave soul who’s a fighter, but every fighter has a downfall. 

“What if I die unhappy?” Dan questions, turning his head to face Phil, “What is my purpose?” 

Phil shuts his laptop and looks at his best friend. Sure, Dan’s had plenty of existential crises in the past, but this was different. Dan usually never cries during them, but this time, he is. And Phil notices pretty quickly. This worries him. Dan is strong and will hold in the tears if any. 

“Dan?” Dan doesn’t respond so Phil continues his question, “Why are you crying?” 

Dan lays there, looking Phil straight in the eyes. He tries to speak but, can’t. He hasn’t cried in front of Phil in a long time. Since 2013 probably. Phil grabs Dan’s MacBook and looks at the picture that made Dan fall into his signature void. The digital drawing was quite unique. It was of Dan and Phil. They were lying in Dan’s bed. The blanket over them, covering their bare chests, fingers intertwined, and eyes locked. Phil didn’t understand why phanart would make Dan slip into a crisis. Sure, they see romantic drawings of them all the time. It wasn’t anything new. Phil looked at what Dan was saying in the speech bubble, on the image, ‘Thanks for getting me out of a crisis, I love you.’ And Phil replies, ‘I promise I won’t leave, I love you too.’ Phil smiles at this drawing. He closes the MacBook and lays down next to Dan, who’s still crying. Phil wraps his arms around Dan, holding him close to his body. 

“Dan, please tell me why you are crying.” Phil asks. Crying hasn’t been a thing since 2013. 

Dan looks up at Phil, his eyes are cold and foggy. The chocolate brown is now a frosty coco bean, “They’ll never know.” He whispers, “You’ll never know.” Tears roll down his rosy cheeks onto the woken floor. Oh, how he wishes it was carpet. The hardwood isn’t exactly the most comfortable so he shifts most of his weight onto Phil. Phil doesn’t mind, he embraces his best friend.

Phil takes this news by storm. For the 7 years that they’ve known each other, he and Dan have kept nothing from each other. But this isn’t a game of trust, it’s a game of self-confidence. Self-confidence that has been hiding and building up for a bit over 7 years. 

“I’ll never know what?” Phil says to Dan. He looks confused. Phil can read Dan like a book but plays it off so his best friend can tell him as he pleases. 

“Who I am.” Dan whispers, lowing his head so he’s not looking at Phil. He feels of shame, knowing that Phil probably has some idea but, can’t get himself to think beyond that thought, “Things used to be so much easier when we were so much younger.” Dan whispers.

“You’re Dan. A caring human being who loves everyone no matter who they are.” Phil says. He presses Dan’s chin up, so he’s looking at him. Dan smiles at this remark. He knows Phil pick those words exact. 

“Phil,” Dan looks up at Phil with slightly warmer eyes, “I’m gay.” Dan simply says. His eyes fill with water and he starts to cry. He’s now who he is with his best friend. Something that’s been a while in the making. Just under 7 years.

Phil holds Dan even closer than before. By now, Dan is completely on top of Phil and yet he doesn’t care. Phil rests his chin on Dan’s hobbit head and doesn’t say a thing. Instead he starts to hum, ‘The Internet is Here’. He rocks Dan back and forth to the hum of the song. Phil stops for a second and kisses Dan’s forehead. This surprises him but, he just goes with it. And Phil’s known all along but, he doesn’t tell Dan this. There’s something about not saying anything that will make it all better in the end. Dan doesn’t like this but doesn’t speak for a few minutes. 

“Phil, please say something.” Dan tears up. Instead of words, Phil takes Dan’s chins to raise his head. Phil leans in and kisses Dan. He caresses Dan’s cheek. The kiss is soft and gentle and only lasts a few seconds, “Phil, I-“

“I love you, Dan.” Phil says to Dan. Dan sits up, Phil is still holding him tight, adjusting as needed. Dan leads into Phil, still crying. He cries into his chest, leaving wet spots. Phil knows Dan feels the same way, he just can’t bring himself to say it, “Dan, look at me.” Dan looks up into Phil’s sparkling blue eyes. He smiles at the paler of the two.

“Phil, I love you. So much.” Dan finally says. When he admits his love, it’s soft and sweet. He voice is of a child’s. He whispers it and presses his face back into Phil’s chest. He continues to cry and all Phil does is hold him. Phil starts to hum the original Pokémon theme song. This makes Dan laugh through the tears. He looks up at Phil and kisses him before rising and siting on the couch, not breaking the kiss, “Thank you, Phil. I don’t know what I would have done without you. You’ve always been there. God why do I have to be a romantic piece of shit?” Dan pauses, “I don’t care. I need you.” 

“I’m never leaving. I promise.” Phil says, holding Dan. Phil takes Dan’s hand and intertwines his fingers. He hasn’t let go of Dan since before the existential crisis. Phil wants Dan to feel loved and wanted in every way possible.

“And I believe that promise.” Dan looks up at Phil as he says that. His eyes turn warm again and the crying stop. Phil wipes the last tear from Dan’s cheek. Dan smiles at just how much Phil cares about him. The love that the two boys share for each other is everlasting. Phil has been there through it all. And he wouldn’t trade it for the world. Even the horror that was 2012, it only brought them closer in the end. He grabs the remote and turns on a whatever anime was previously playing. It didn’t matter what it was because they have each other. A love like there’s only comes two in a million. Because they’re two in a million, “Because something this brilliant only happens to like in a million.” Dan looks up before Phil takes his chin so they’re eye to eye. Phil leads in and kisses Dan. The kiss is magical and soft. Dan smiles at Phil before kissing him again. The dark sky fades to black and the bright stars light it up, brighter than ever before.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was pretty cute if I do say so myself. Also please look at the 2017 calendar picture for May and July because you can totally see Dan's dick in the May one and Phil's in the July. To think that those kinky little shits actually approved those pictures makes me think those "houseplants" aren't just "houseplants".


End file.
